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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life, by Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
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Christians often focus so much on being loving and giving that they forget their own limits and limitations. Have you ever found yourself wondering:
• Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
• How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
• Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?
In this Gold Medallion Award–winning book, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, and show you how to set healthy boundaries with your parents, spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and even yourself.
Boundaries are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.
Physical boundaries help you determine who may touch you and under what circumstances.
Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.
Emotional boundaries help you deal with your own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.
Spiritual boundaries help you distinguish God’s will from your own and give you renewed awe for your Creator.
Unpacking ten “laws of boundaries,” Drs. Cloud and Townsend show you how to bring new health to your relationships. You’ll discover firsthand how sound boundaries give you the freedom to walk as the loving, giving, fulfilled individual God created you to be.
- Sales Rank: #63093 in Books
- Published on: 2014-06-10
- Formats: Audiobook, MP3 Audio, Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.75" h x .50" w x 5.25" l, .15 pounds
- Running time: 11 Hours
- Binding: MP3 CD
Amazon.com Review
In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. --Gail Hudson
Review
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great insights and practical wisdom into the God-given gift of boundaries. As they discuss how to take responsibility for and ownership of our lives, they give hope that we cannot just survive -- but thrive! --Josh McDowell, Author, Author and Speaker
Review
'Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great insights and practical wisdom into the God-given gift of boundaries. As they discuss how to take responsibility for and ownership of our lives, they give hope that we cannot just survive -- but thrive!' -- Josh McDowell, Author, Author and Speaker
|'The contents of this book have had a life-changing effect on my wife and me. We thank God for men like Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud, who have used their professional expertise centered in godly wisdom to help so many of us who are hurting. 'Boundaries' does not offer temporary relief but points a person to God and his ways for the ultimate cure!' -- Dave Dravecky, Author, Founder of Outreach of Hope
|'As I read this book, I kept fighting back the gnawing feeling that the whole trajectory of my life would have been different and better had I read this twenty years ago.' -- Bill Hybels, Senior Pastor, Willow Creek Community Church
|'Boundaries define everything from football fields to nation-states, yet our culture has pretended it could violate boundaries in human relationships without serious consequences. Cloud and Townsend examine the damage caused by this flawed view and point the way back.' -- Cal Thomas, Author, Syndicated Columnist
|'In this insightful and extremely helpful book, you will learn about a simple concept that can change your life: healthy boundaries. It's the ability to mark off your life in such a way that you multiply your love for others and minimize the problems you face. And it's waiting for you when you open this book I highly recommend.' -- John Trent, PhD, President, Encouraging Words and StrongFamilies.com
|'This book is going to provide a doorway of understanding and freedom for those of us who have allowed ourselves to be buried in the inability to say no. Thank you once again, Henry and John, for helping us toward freedom.' -- Rich Buhler, Author, New Choices, New Boundaries
|'I've heard a myriad of sermons on Christian servanthood that never discussed the value of saying 'NO!' in order to confront in love or to provide space to recharge the batteries. 'Boundaries' is the 'Untold Story' -- the other side of love and servanthood that we need so desperately but that we hear so little about.' -- Howard G. Hendricks, Chairman, Center for Christian Leadership
Most helpful customer reviews
838 of 878 people found the following review helpful.
Turning my life around
By A Customer
As a Christian, I continually struggled with feeling depressed from being a doormat, and being nice because it was "part of the abundant Christian life." Everyone spoke about Christianity as being a joyful, full life that I would love and never want to return to the secular world. Then why did I feel so miserable? Why did the secular world seem so appealing, where I could be as nasty and selfish as I wanted to?
The answer was in "Boundaries". As I read the book, I could identify with something in every chapter. I'm the type of person who will let everyone else step all over me to keep themselves happy. As long as I didn't raise a ruckus, and the peace was kept, everything was okay, right? WRONG! Inside I was always seething with anger, and I was livid with the fact that I had to continually step out of the way for everyone else while they ran right over me.
Through reading this book, I realized that it's OK to set boundaries in all interactions; in fact, I now believe that it would be wrong NOT to set boundaries in things. Slowly but surely, with the help from this book's message, I've been setting boundaries for a happier life that's filled with more peace, joy, and abundance than ever.
402 of 419 people found the following review helpful.
This Book--> The Pencil That Will Help You Draw the Lines
By K.W.
Wow, why didn't I ever know about this book? You don't hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around Amazon one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if:
-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach
-you feel like there's a problem because you're trying to be a good person all the time by always saying "yes"
In a nutshell, this book is for people who don't know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they're always saying "yes" to things and taking responsibility for things- even when it's not their job.
And boundary lines of your responsibilities need to be present in more areas of your life than you might realize, such as...
-your family
-your friends
-your mate
-your kids
-your self
The book covers boundary conflicts in each of these areas leaving no stone unturned. Therefore, its no big deal if you have only one or two problem areas- just go to those sections.
This book will help you realize what a boundary is, why it's okay to have them and just how to develop them. So if anything in this review sounds like if might apply to you- don't hesitate to check out the book. Other neat self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".
139 of 145 people found the following review helpful.
Very good book.... even for an atheist like me
By A Reader
This book is truly excellent. In my own childhood I grew up with a domineering, imposing and dare I say it "bullying" father and a meek, mild, "anything for a quiet life", sweet as honey mother. I resented my Dad for riding roughshod all over my Mum as a kid but have learned as an adult how they both are responsible. With time I began to resent Mum for being such a wimp as well as my Dad for being a control freak. Now I just love them to pieces, because they are my dear parents.
Anyway, I grew up to be a controlling, abusive tyrant, just like my Dad was if not worse. This persisted until 2008 when the beautiful, adoring woman I married got tired of my treatment of her and left me. I would never have woken up, let alone **grown** up if she hadn't done this. With a lot of time and work from my side we got back together again and the type of "man" I used to be really disgusts me. With time and effort I have been able to put together healthy boundaries of behaviour I will and will not accept from others, and from myself.
The point is my wife took a stand, just as this book says to. And it worked. On me that is.
If you are an abused spouse take a radical stand. The more radical the better. Do exactly what this book tells you to do.
I have given the book four stars because I am an atheist (sorry to any religious folks, I just cannot believe any of it, even if I wanted to) and my "God filter" had to be on at all times. Still, it doesn't matter what source the help comes from and I wish I had come across this book five years ago. My two little kids will learn healthy boundaries as well so they don't grow up to be the basket case I was.
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